I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
