So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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