school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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