Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
