Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
