Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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