she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
