So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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