So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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