Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
