idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
