My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
