You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
