I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Only a mothe r could love this liver
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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