I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
