Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
drinking out of a sandbucket again
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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