Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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