What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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