In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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