My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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