sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
