Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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