lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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