so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Randomize
