Come see our sink grown plant.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
