That's when you crack a 10am beer
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She even gives head with a lisp.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
