A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
