you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
