Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
