My brain says no but my pants say off.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Randomize
