never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
