playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
