brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
