you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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