i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
