Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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