you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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