nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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