Kiss
Puke
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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