She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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