Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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