I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
