Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
