We're like a lot better than the average bears
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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