if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
