someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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