if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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