Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
