i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
