i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
