Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
