It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
