dude i'm inner monologue high
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
