it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
